


MIA : Internal Affairs

by mtac_archivist



Category: NCIS
Genre: Episode Related, F/M, Not Episode Related, Not a Crossover
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-20
Updated: 2008-08-20
Packaged: 2019-03-02 06:12:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13312167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mtac_archivist/pseuds/mtac_archivist
Summary: "Be a man Tony!" Was that really what Ziva wanted? Song fic based on `Make this go on forever` by Snowpatrol.





	MIA : Internal Affairs

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Jessi, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [ MTAC](https://fanlore.org/wiki/MTAC), an archive of NCIS fanfiction which closed in 2017. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project after August 2017. I tried to reach out to all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator (and this work is still attached to the archivist account), please contact me using the e-mail address on [ the MTAC collection profile](http://www.archiveofourown.org/collections/mtac/profile)

  
Author's notes: Major Song Fic. TIVA alert! !! !! !  
  
I suppose that this doesn't really have a happy ending, unlike Sub Rosa. I nearly made myslef cry when I wrote the end to this!  


* * *

MIA: INTERNAL AFFAIRS

 

“Be a man, Tony. Tell her what she needs to hear!”

Those words had haunted her ever since they left her mouth. Had she made the right choice? Should she have told Tony to reconcile with the woman he loved? The woman who was not her?

If only Tony stopped, every now and again. If only he looked about himself a bit. he would have noticed the light smack on the behind that she had given him only a few hours earlier. He would have noticed how it hurt her to have to tell him to make up with Jeanne Benoit. She would never admit it. But it did. It hurt a lot.

 

Ziva swallowed a sob, swiping angrily at the tears that began to form. She turned away from the window, letting the long net curtain fall daintily back into place. Crossing the room, Ziva turned on the stereo.

Please don’t let this turn in to something it’s not

I can only give you everything I’ve got.

I can’t be as sorry as you think I should.

But I still love you more than anyone else could.

All that I keep thinking throughout this whole flight

Is it could take my whole damn life to make this right

Tony slowly let his hand fall from the power button on his stereo. Why, Jeanne? Why? I understand you’re angry, sad, feeling betrayed and deceived, but Jeanne I really did love you. I had to say no. I had to. For both of us. Really Jeanne. Please believe me.

The splintered mast I holding on won’t save me long.

Because I know fine well that what I did was wrong.

Yes, I was wrong. To lie to you. But I love you. Saying no to you, was, was best. Hell, I hope it was.

The last moment, the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

The first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word and the final sentence you ever wrote to me was LOVE

No, it wasn’t. It was not love. It was a decision. The first one I think that I have gotten right. I chose my friends over love. I chose my life over love. It hurt us both. But I chose.

We have got through so much worse than this before.

What’s so different this time that you can’t ignore.

You say it is much more than just my last mistake

And we should spend some time apart for both our sakes.

 

The last moment, the last reason to make this last for as long as I could

The first kiss and the first time that I felt connected to anything

The weight of water, the way you told me to look past everything I had ever learned

The final word and the final sentence you ever wrote to me was LOVE

 

I love you. Thought Ziva. I really do. But, alas, you made up with Jeanne and so once again, the man I love is unavailable.

And I don’t know where to look.

My words just breakin’ mad

Please just save me from this darkness

Please just save me from this darkness

My plan backfired. Badly. At least he won’t pine for her. I hope not.

 

`Hey Ziva, can we talk? No, that won’t work. Jeanne and I are through. Nope. Thanks for your advice earlier. Oh, I’ve got it!` 

And I don’t know where to look.

My words just breakin’ mad

Tony pressed the door bell and waited until it opened to reveal Ziva.

 

The doorbell rang and she crossed the room to open it. It was Tony.

“Oh. Hey. How did things go with Jeanne?”

She didn’t really want to know, but she had to ask.

“She said that she wishes she never met me.”

Ziva looked up and saw the hurt. She ran to him and held him close.

“I’m sorry Tony, I thought that by you telling her how you felt, it would end this and she would forgive you! I didn’t think that she would reject you!”

Tony pulled back slightly to get a better look at her. He regarded her with surprise.

“What made you think I was gonna tell her that I love her? I did love her, but, I realised it just now, she reminds me of the person I really love. She was strong willed, stubborn, beautiful and had a father who I wouldn’t really want to socialise with!”

Ziva forced a laugh at Tony’s joke but her mind was elsewhere, carefully noting the fact that all of these facts fitted her, well, maybe not the beautiful bit, but hey, she lived in hope.

“Come on, sit down.”

Tony looked at his watch

“Sorry, really I should be going if I’m gonna get that report in for Gibbs by the morning! Thanks though.”

With that he turned and walked out of the door.

Ziva stared after him a long time after he left. Once again, the man who she loved was gone. The last two lines of the song echoed around her head.

Please just save me from this darkness

Please just save me from this darkness

“Help me Tony, please help me.”

Ziva whispered quietly to the empty room.

 

 

See what I mean?! Sob, sob. If anyone actually reads these little old stories of mine, can you let me know, please? I don\'t want anything, just would like to know!


End file.
